What happens when a friend is diagnosed with mental illness? Guest Peer Leader Blog Post By Hannah Davis

Hannah Davis is the new Peer Outreach Coalition Intern. Hannah is studying Psychology at Sonoma State University. Her guest blogs will be featured weekly. Welcome, Hannah!

Many people wonder what it is like to have a mental disorder and how that changes a person’s life. While this is important, I am more interested in the many people who know a friend or family member that’s diagnosed and are entering the unknown territory of caregiver. According to the National Institute of Mental Health there are 26.2% of people aged 18 and over who “suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.” Seeing as one in four adults have mental disorders, the chances of knowing someone who is affected is a likely possibility. Because of these statistics, NAMI California, a group dedicated to educating the public about mental illness, lays out several of the typical feelings those helping mentally ill family members go through and ways to cope with this challenge.

There tends to be seven common emotions due to the added burden of caring for a mentally ill person. These emotions are guilt, embarrassment, confusion, anger, resentment, fear, and frustration. When I imagine the challenge of caring for someone who is mentally ill I associate with these emotions, all of which aren’t positive. If I feel this way by simply picturing these hardships then how much more stressful must it be for those who don’t imagine these situations, but are in them?

Guilt manifests because people blame themselves for what has happened and believe that somehow they could have taken control of the situation and stopped the mental illness from developing. Social stigmas about the mentally ill can cause embarrassment while confusion occurs when people have a hard time accepting that their loved one is mentally ill, what caused the disorder, and its impact on the affected individual. When family members think a patient isn’t really sick, yet merely looking for attention or excuses, they exhibit anger towards the ill individual. Resentment is where people feel pressured and burdened while caring for their family member. The people who normally feel this way are primary care givers that are closest to the mentally ill. Another normal response is fear that the family member will also be likely to get the illness. They may wonder if they are next. And lastly, the feelings of frustration occurs when caretakers feel they are unable to properly assist their loved one and therefore not helping them get better, which can also increase feelings of guilt. None of these negative feelings are helpful to any individual involved in the situation and should be change to a more positive outlook so there are no hard feelings between both parties involved.

In my opinion, it is vital that we try to get into the mindset of those in such a difficult position so we can understand what they are going through and learn how to help them. Thankfully there are ways that we can assist those who may feel burdened by caring for a friend or family member. They face an enormous challenge that includes little thanks for the help they provide, emotional heartbreak watching a loved one suffer, lots of time spent helping the mentally ill individual, and the rebellion against their help that they are likely to run into. This challenging time is when we as friends need to offer a helping hand; trying to care for someone shouldn’t be one person’s job.

Caregivers should try to reach out to others for emotional support, which can be as simple as talking about what is going on and getting feedback from others about treatment and behavioral issues. By discussing their concerns, fears, and thoughts people can create realistic expectations of recovery and maintain an objective perspective. Getting a break from care giving can reduce stress, and the use humor can help with the hardships of caring for those who can make the work difficult and depressing. Next time your friend needs to talk or asks for help, seriously think about the responsibility they are undergoing by caring for their mentally ill individual and ask yourself if you would want help and support. If the answer is yes, then do whatever you can to help to reduce that person’s burden.

As NAMI California says, “it is important to remember that mental illness is just that, an illness of the brain” and that “wrestling with the intricacies of mental health disorders is no easy feat.” It is important for those dealing with family members or friends afflicted with mental disorders to try to understand their feelings towards the ill person and how to change them to positive emotions, as well as know what resources are available during their struggle to help their mentally ill companion. Having a close circle of friends they can count on is also extremely helpful.

Remember that one day you could be in this position. Wouldn’t you want help and loving support during these troubling times?

Back to school blues

It's that time of year again. Throughout Sonoma County (and across the nation) children, teens, and college students are heading back to the classroom. Many of the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition's Peer Leaders are going back to school this week too. Things are about to get busy!

Some of you may be heading off to college for the first time. This is an exciting transition! For the first time you may be living away from home. Independence! Freedom! Partying! Before you get too excited, remember the reason you are going away to school is *ahem* school.

Despite all these feelings of excitement, going to college can stir up some emotions you may not be prepared for. Although college is an opportunity to meet lots of new people, sometimes students find that they are socially isolated and lonely. According to this recent article, mental health problems are on the rise among college students. The students who are most likely to seek counseling or other resources on campus are the ones who feel disconnected from peers or feel like they are not "fitting in" at the school.

According to the study by Hofstra University, "moderate to severe depression increased to 41 percent in 2009, compared to 34 percent in 1997 and 1998." Also, the study reported that impulsive behaviors (such as drinking, fighting, and stealing) were on the rise. The incidence of students exhibiting self-destructive behaviors (such as cutting or other forms of self-injury) doubled during the last decade.

But there is good news! According to the same study, student reports of suicidal thoughts were down by fifteen percent! It has been suggested that this is due to college student's increased access to on campus counseling and health services.

So if you are going away to college, where can you turn for support?

• Your campus health center Check out your college health center. Most have access to counseling and mental health services.



• Your friends Reach out to your classmates and friends. A phone call to a friend from high school who is attending a different school may boost your mood.



• Your family There is nothing wrong with calling home to talk about how you are feeling! Also, if you have health insurance, your family might be able to help you locate a mental health professional under your insurance plan to help with the strong emotions you are dealing with



• Your online social network There is a wealth of information on the internet. On Facebook, the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition links to a variety of Facebook pages and websites about suicide prevention, depression, and anxiety. There are also numerous online resources dedicated to college students such as ULifeline. Right now you can also check out Psych Central which currently has a back-to-school mental health guide

Remember, it is completely normal to feel depressed and overwhelmed at times. Going to college for the first time is a life-changing experience. If you feel like your enjoyment of this exciting time in your life is being overshadowed by feelings of sadness or hopelessness, then please make an appointment with you campus health center. There is nothing wrong with seeking help for depression or anxiety symptoms. As you can tell by these articles, students are making the choice to get help more frequently.

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition frequently uses the saying "Got Mental Health?" Take care of your body, take care of your mind, and when we ask you if you've got mental health you can say proudly, "Why yes, I do!"

What does your Facebook say about you?

When you run an online social media campaign about mental health awareness, you are constantly aware of how you are perceived by the public. You must be careful about your choice of words (i.e. The Baby Seal Club) and make sure that you are providing the best information possible for your readers. The Peer Leaders are constantly sifting through articles, websites, and a plethora of information online about teen mental health, sex, drugs, and occasionally a little rock and roll. We discuss frequently if something is worth posting, if it is "Fact or Crap?" as we have joked on many occasions.

So when you are looking online at your friends' Facebook profile, can you be sure they are showing you who they really are? Well, now you can. According to a study in the March issue of Psychological Science, Facebook users' profiles accurately reflect who they really are! The study was done by a collaboration of University of Texas at Austin and the University of Mainz in Germany. Research assistants ranked profiles study participants on the “Big Five.” These are the five dimensions of personality often used in psych­ological research. They include extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness and conscientiousness.

The research assistants then compared their perceptions with personality tests of the study participants, and the feedback of four close friends of the participants. For the most part, the perceptions were very accurate. In other words, if you were to look at a profile on Facebook and think "Wow, this person sure is extroverted!" you would most likely be correct.

Why is this important? Well, think about everything we do online. We socialize, we date, and we occasionally snoop on other people! The latter is more common than you think, especially when it comes to employers checking up on prospective job applicants. What do you think a potential employer thinks when they see a job applicant's Facebook profile where all the pictures show the applicant drunk on the beach in Cabo? Hmm...maybe it's time to rethink posting those Spring Break photos.

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition works pretty closely with local LGBTQ organizations such as Positive Images and Outbeat Youth. Over the past few months, we have become increasingly aware of the problem of privacy when it comes to being "out" online. Once you have posted information online, people can access that information. Privacy settings can help, but concerns about safety and security often are at the forefront of the minds of those who have faced discrimination in the past.

Cyberbullying is also a concern regardless of one's sexual orientation. Teens across the country are being bullied by peers via the internet, often resulting in mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. Cyberbullying has even been linked to a probable cause of a girl's suicide in New York.

Will knowing that people are (for the most part) pretty honest on Facebook help with this problem? Will this knowledge make it easier to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing? Can we now determine what is "fact" and what is, well, "crap?"

Excuse me now while I go remove my summer vacation pictures from my Facebook...

Can you be both homophobic and a good counselor?

Happy Monday! Let's talk about the First Amendment. The First Amendment of the United States Constitution states, among other things, that the government shall make no law that interferes with freedom of speech or expression of religion.

At Augusta State University in Georgia, graduate student Jennifer Keeton has filed a lawsuit in federal court alleging that her First Amendment rights have been violated. Jennifer claims that the school has threatened to expel her for refusing to complete workshops that conflict with her religious beliefs. She also alleges that Augusta State is trying to force her to change her beliefs.

So what exactly are Jennifer Keeton's beliefs? Jennifer believes that homosexuality is both immoral and a lifestyle choice. Jennifer's classmates have also reported that she believes in "conversion therapy" for homosexual clients. Jennifer is also enrolled in a counseling Master's program. Since counselors may counsel clients from very diverse backgrounds, it is important for counselors to be sensitive to issues concerning multiculturalism, including sexual orientation. The professors and staff have told Jennifer that it is important to acquire these skills in order to be an effective counselor. Jennifer has responded by saying that her belief system will not impact her ability to counsel gay and lesbian clients.

I have previously mentioned that I recently completed a Master's in Counseling program. One of the required courses was titled Cross-Cultural Awareness in Counseling. This was a required course. If I did not complete this course, I would not be eligible for graduation or my degree. My opinion (which aligns with Jennifer Keeton's professors) is that one cannot effectively counsel other individuals without some understanding about how to be sensitive to issues surrounding gender, race, religion, age, socio-econmoic status, and sexual orientation.

Earlier this month, two gay men in Atlanta were beaten and robbed at gunpoint. Not three hours from Augusta, it is not outside the realm of possibility that one of these men could make a counseling appointment with Jennifer Keeton. Would she show unconditional positive regard and empathy, or would she tell him that he was robbed because of a "lifestyle choice" and that he should seek conversion therapy?

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to seek counseling. Many individuals who desperately need mental health services never seek them because of the fear of stigma and prejudice from friends, family and co-workers. How would you feel about going to a counselor who believed that the way you are is immoral and wrong?

When the "F" on your report card means "Fat"

It seems that Massachusetts is on the front line for controversial education reforms. Remember a few weeks ago when the Provincetown school district decided to update their condom policy? Well, if nothing else, Massachusetts is giving us plenty to think about!

Now from Medway, Massachusetts, there is a new trend. Schools have started weighing students, calculating their Body Mass Index (BMI) and then sending home a "Fitness Report Card" to parents. An angry mother took information to a Fox News TV station in Boston. A Fox News correspondent offered the opinion that this new policy demonstrates a "lack of respect" for the parents and pediatricians responsible for making heath decisions for the students.

Obesity in children and teens has been big in the news lately. First Lady Michelle Obama has been promoting a campaign to end childhood obesity, and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has started his Food Revolution campaign to change the way we eat in the United States. Obviously obesity in teens has huge implications for their physical health.

But what about mental health? Studies show that obese teens are more likely to be bullied than peers of a normal weight. In addition, bullying can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. These mental health problems can last well into one's adult years. Even if an overweight teenager loses weight, the insecurities do not necessarily go away.

Chances are, overweight teens already know they are larger than their peers. Is a Fitness/Fatness report card necessary? Will it do more harm than good? Or, conversely, is this the catalyst needed to propel parents to help their children lead healthier lives?

Can Facebook and Twitter make you a nicer person?

I did not go to graduate school to become a blogger. The transition from high school guidance counseling to online mental health awareness promotion has been strange, but largely enjoyable. Although I have found this experience fun and exciting, many I know in the human services field have questioned this career shift. I was recently asked "By only supporting teens online as opposed to working with teens face-to-face, don't you think you are cutting out all human emotion and compassion from the equation?"

Ouch.

Despite the anti-social stigma associated with social media, it turns out that using sites such as Facebook and Twitter can make you feel more connected, generous, and affectionate. It all boils down to oxytocin.

Oxy-who? Oxytocin is also known as the cuddle hormone. Know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you hug or kiss someone? That's oxytocin. Ever hear about how mother and child bond during breastfeeding? Once again, oxytocin is responsible.

So what does this have to do with tweeting? Paul J. Zak at Claremont Graduate University discovered that interacting with people via social media causes oxytocin levels to rise substantially while simultaneously decreasing stress hormones. In other words, using Twitter and Facebook to connect with people releases those same feel-good chemicals you would get by hanging out in person.

So how does this make you a nicer person? According to Zak, research indicates that people are more empathetic when their oxytocin levels go up. They may be more kind, fair, and honest. Also, these results last about an hour after the initial social media interaction occurred!

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition is on both Facebook and Twitter! I wish I could say that posting to our page or following our tweets will make you a nicer person...but alas, Zak's sample size was a bit too small for us to consider this as credible research.

If nothing else, checking out our social media will leave you will that delightful, warm and fuzzy feeling you get from oh-so-wonderful oxytocin...and you never have to leave your computer or change out of your pajamas! No worries; we don't judge and we don't tell. We are pretty happy here at the POC. It must be all that Facebooking/tweeting/blogging we do!