Guest blog by Peer Leader Aolani Contreras: The key to a successful life is balance

As Pablo mentioned on the previous blog,” it seems to me that stress is controlling many students’ lives, especially those from high school and college.” I completely agree. As students we all go through moments full of stress, but it’s normal. We have to go to school, do homework, clean our rooms, and apart from that we have to deal with social and family issues; those are a lot of things to do in so little time. But it’s always important to remember that it’s okay to rest; taking at least 30 minutes a day to just sit down and reflect, can be one of the best decisions you make.

Pablo mentioned some things you can do to relief your stress and I would like to add on to that list:
*You can take time to watch your favorite show

*play a video game

*take a walk or go on a run

*read a book

*meditate

*listen to music or

* take a nap

Another thing that you can do is to simply have dinner at the dinner table and not on your desk while you do homework can make a huge difference. Make taking a break a daily priority. Tests have proven that people who take breaks are healthier and happier.Starting tomorrow if you feel like you’re about to explode from doing so much homework go outside and breathe, those moments will take a huge weight off your shoulders and you’ll feel healthier! And keep in mind that the key to success is balance.

El acoso escolar no sera tolerado!

La escuela está a la vuelta de la esquina para los estudiantes. Los estudiantes de secundaria comienzan la escuela hoy y los estudiantes universitarios van a comenzar pronto. Mientras estaba en facebook hace unos días atrás todos estaban hablando de cómo se iban a vestir, con que se iban a juntar, y cuales clases iban a tomar. Pero había un mensaje en particular que me llamó mucho la atención. Decia, "solicitud especial a todos los niños que regresan a la escuela en los próximos días: Si ves a alguien que está luchando por hacer amigos o están siendo intimidado por que él / ella no tienen muchos amigos o porque son tímidos o porque no están tan bonita/o o porque se visten con ropa que no esta a la moda -POR FAVOR ayúdalos. Diles hola o dales una sonrisa por lo menos en el pasillo. Nunca sabes por lo que esta persona podría estar enfrentando fuera de la escuela. Su bondad sólo puede hacer una gran diferencia en la vida de alguien.” Las estadísticas del acoso escolar del 2009 dicen que entre el 15 y el 25 por ciento de los estudiantes en general son víctimas frecuentes del acoso escolar y del 15 al 20 por ciento de estudiantes intimidan a otros estudiantes a menudo. Cuando leí este mensaje de facebook me puse muy contento porque no a sólo más de 20 jóvenes les gusto el mensaje pero también había muchos comentarios positivos y finalmente este mensaje terminó siendo repartido en otros facebooks. Esto demuestra que los jóvenes están tratando de hacer una diferencia para ponerle un fin al acoso escolar.

El acoso escolar es cuando alguien sigue haciendo o diciendo cosas que tienen poder sobre otra persona. No sólo el acoso escolar afecta a una persona mentalmente sino también físicamente. Algunos de los efectos del acoso escolar son la depresión, estar nervioso y distante, no querer ir a la escuela, ansiedad y tendencias suicidas. Si usted o alguien a su alrededor está siendo intimidado hay algunas cosas que usted puede hacer para detenerlo. Ignorar al agresor y aléjate. También es importante hablar con un adulto de confianza acerca de la situación, te escucharan. Si ves a alguien siendo intimidado siempre debes de tratar de ponerle un alto a la situación, por que si no lo haces el mensaje que estás dando es que tu estas de acuerdo con el acoso escolar.

El SCPOC ha estado trabajando en un video para crear conciencia sobre el acoso escolar. Vaz a poder verlo en un par de semanas pero por ahora me gustaría animar a todos los estudiantes a que le pongan un alto al acoso escolar.

Bullying will not be tolerated!

School is right around the corner for students. High school students start school today and college students are starting soon. While I was on facebook a few days ago everyone was talking about what they were going to wear, who they were going to hang out with, and what classes they had. But there was one post in particular that really caught my attention. It stated “Special request to all you kids returning to school in the next few days: If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because he/she doesn't have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most "in" clothes -PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them in the hallway. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone's life.” The 2009 Bullying statistics say that between 15 and 25 percent of students overall are frequent victims of bullying and 15 to 20 percent of students bully others often. To see this post elated me because not only did it have over 20 “likes” from other teens but it also had many positive comments and it eventually ended up being on other teen’s statuses. This demonstrates that teens are trying to make a difference and put a stop to bullying.

Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Not only does bullying affect someone mentally but also physically. Some effects of being bullied include depression, being nervous and distant, not wanting to go to school, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. If you or someone around you is being bullied there are a few things you can do to stop it. Ignore the bully and walk away. It is also important to talk to a trusted adult about the situation, they will listen to you. If you see someone being bullied you should always try to stop it otherwise the message that you are delivering is that bullying is okay with you.

The SCPOC has been working on an awareness video on bullying that you will be able to see in a few weeks but for now, I would like to encourage all students to do their part and put a stop to bullying.

Conducir borracho = Peligro

¿Sabía usted que cada quince minutos un adolescente muere por conducir ebrio? Lo que es mas sorprendente es que la mayoría de las veces la persona que esta conduciendo ebrio no sufre lesiones mayores. Las consecuencias se pagan, ya sea por los pasajeros o las personas del coche que ha sido golpeado. Imagínate vivir con el recuerdo terrible de saber que tu has tomado la vida de otra persona. O, sin embargo, nunca se sabe si alguien en la carretera esta conduciendo ebrio y tu vida está en riesgo.

Casey Goodwin, una estudiante de veinte años en el colegio de Cuesta Vista en San Luis Obispo, era una joven activa que participaba en programas tales como Friday Night Live y California Youth Council. Ella era reconocida como una defensor de la prevención del consumo de alcohol entre menores de edad en todo el estado de California. No sólo estaba comprometido con la prevención del alcohol, pero tenía sueños de algún día convertirse en un profesora de la preparatoria. El 13 de marzo del 2003 los sueños de Casey y su vida fueron llevados por un joven de dieciocho años de edad que estaba conduciendo ebrio y golpeo a Casey en la carretera. El joven de dieciocho años conducía al trabajo después de que había consumido algunas cervezas cuando ocurrió el incidente. Casey estaba en camino a celebrar el cumpleaños de su madre- nunca llego. Cuando la madre de Casey Lynne Goodwin llegó al hospital en el que Casey fue llevada ella recuerda cuando el médico dijo que los huesos de Casey se rompieron por lo que necesitaría llevar a cabo cirugía. No sólo eso, sino que también encontró que todos los órganos vitales de su cuerpo, excepto su corazón había sufrido daño irreparable. El cerebro de Casey también había sido dañado en ambos lados dejándola sin las ondas cerebrales. Es entonces cuando Goodwin se dio cuenta de que los médicos no podían hacer nada por Casey y ella tuvo que aceptar la dolorosa realidad de que Casey ya no estaba. El funeral de Casey fue asistido por más de 2,000 personas entre ellas estaban miembros de la familia, amigos, políticos, policías, y sus colegas.

El joven de dieciocho años que conducía ebrio no sufrió ninguna lesión pero fue condenado a diez años de prisión por homicidio vehicular. Estaba conduciendo 100 millas por hora cuando tomó la vida de Casey. La madre de Casey escribió en el sitio web de Casey, "He pasado gran parte de mi vida profesional trabajando para y con los jóvenes para evitar daños que pueden resultar en conductas de riesgo. Estos jóvenes también han incluido mis propios hijos. Irónicamente, mientras que mis hijos sabían el daño que puede resultar de beber y conducir no estaban seguros de ello. Era el chico que no sabía, que tomó la vida de mi hija.” Por eso es importante que los adolescente estén educados para evitar incidentes como éste.

La madre de Casey trabaja para el capítulo Friday Night Live y se pasa una gran cantidad de tiempo educando a los padres y adolescentes acerca de no conducir ebrio y cómo ella ha tenido que vivir con la muerte de su hija. Mientras yo asistía a la conferencia llamada, Youth Convergence en Miami, Florida en el 2008, tuve el honor de escuchar una presentación por Goodwin acerca de Casey. Goodwin inicia la presentación introduciendo la historia de Casey y poco a poco se avanza a la forma en que su hija falleció. Pero no es hasta el final de su presentación que menciona que ella es en realidad la madre de Casey. Las expresiones faciales en todos son increíbles. Esto no sólo nos impacta a todos en la habitación de la conferencia, pero sentimos el dolor a la madre de Casey y la ira hacia el joven de dieciocho años por conducir ebrio. Tragedias como ésta afectan directamente a la familia y todas las personas que rodean a Casey. Sinceramente, creo que historias como la de Casey se debe decir porque le dan a los oyentes una necesidad de educar a los adolescentes sobre conducir ebrio.

En honor de Casey Goodwin, Caseys Pledge ha sido desarrollado. Este es un compromiso donde los adolescentes se comprometen a no beber y conducir o estar en un coche con un conductor ebrio. Animo a todos los jóvenes a asumir el compromiso y que hagan esta opción saludable. Recuerda, no sólo es tu vida la que esta en peligro, sino también la vida de los demás.

Aquí hay algunas maneras en cuales tu puedes apoyar a Caseys Pledge:

• Si te encuentras en una situación en la que estás entrando en un coche y el conductor ha estado bebiendo llama a tus padres, un amigo, o un adulto de confianza para que te recojan.

• Relaciónate con personas que tienen un impacto positivo en tu vida.

• No bebas y conduzcas.

• Lleva Caseys Pledge a tu escuela y crear conciencia.

• ¡Se la persona que hace lo correcto!

¡Ten cuidado! Mantente con vida!

Drunk Driving = Danger

Did you know that every fifteen minutes a teen dies from drunk driving? What is even more eye opening is that most of the time the person who is drunk driving doesn’t suffer major injuries. The consequences are paid, either by the passengers or the people from the car that has been hit. Imagine living with the terrible memory of knowing that you have taken the life of someone else. Or yet, you never know if someone on the road is drunk driving and your life is at risk.

Casey Goodwin, a twenty year old college student at Cuesta Vista in San Luis Obispo, was an active teen who participated in programs such as, Friday Night Live and the California Youth Council. She was recognized as an advocate for the prevention of underage drinking all over the state of California. Not only was she committed to the prevention of alcohol but she had dreams of one day becoming a high school teacher. On March 13, 2003 Casey’s dreams and life were taken away by an eighteen year old drunk driver who hit her on the road. The eighteen year old was driving to work after he had some beers when the incident occurred. Casey was on her way to celebrate her mother’s birthday-she never made it. When her mother Lynne Goodwin arrived to the hospital that Casey was taken to she vividly remembers when the doctor stated that Casey’s bones were broken and they would need to perform surgery. Not only that but they also found that every vital organ in her body, except her heart had sustained irreplaceable damage. Casey’s brain had also, been damaged on both sides leaving her with no brain waves. That is when Goodwin realized that the doctors could not do anything for Casey and she had to accept the painful reality that Casey was gone. Casey’s funeral was attended by over 2,000 people including family members, friends, politicians, police officers, and colleagues.

The eighteen year old drunk driver did not suffer any injuries but he was sentenced to ten years in prison for vehicular manslaughter. He was driving 100 miles per hour when he took Casey’s life away. Casey’s mother wrote on the Casey’s Pledge website, “I have spent much of my professional life working for and with young people to prevent them from harm that can result from risky behavior. These young people have also included my own children. Ironically, while my children did know the harm that can result from drinking and driving they were not safe from it. It was the kid that didn’t know, that took my child’s life.” That is why it is important to be an educated teen to prevent incidents like this one.

Casey’s mother works for the Friday Night Live Chapter and she spends a great amount of time educating parents and teens about drunk driving and how she has had to live with her daughter’s death. While attending the Youth Convergence Conference in Miami, Florida in 2008, I had the honor to listen to Goodwin give a presentation about Casey. Goodwin starts these presentations by introducing Casey’s life story and slowly she advances to how her daughter passed away. But not until the very end of her presentation does she mention that she is in fact Casey’s mother. The facial expressions on everyone are unbelievable. Not only does this ending impact everyone in the room but we feel grief towards Casey’s mother and anger towards that eighteen year old for drunk driving. Tragedy’s like this one affect the family directly and everyone around them. I truly believe that stories like Casey’s should be told because it will give the listeners an urge to educate teens on drunk driving.

In honor of Casey Goodwin, Casey’s Pledge has been developed. This is a pledge where teens pledge not to drink and drive or get in a car with a drunk driver. I encourage all teens to take the pledge and to make this healthy choice. Remember, not only is your life in danger but also the life of others as well.

Here are few ways you can support Casey’s Pledge:

-If you run into a situation where you are getting into a car and the driver has been drinking call a parent, a friend, or a trusted adult to pick you up.
-Hang out with people who have a positive impact in your life.
-Don’t drink and drive.
-Take the pledge to your school and raise awareness.
-Be the person that does the right thing!
-Be safe! Stay alive!

What happens when a friend is diagnosed with mental illness? Guest Peer Leader Blog Post By Hannah Davis

Hannah Davis is the new Peer Outreach Coalition Intern. Hannah is studying Psychology at Sonoma State University. Her guest blogs will be featured weekly. Welcome, Hannah!

Many people wonder what it is like to have a mental disorder and how that changes a person’s life. While this is important, I am more interested in the many people who know a friend or family member that’s diagnosed and are entering the unknown territory of caregiver. According to the National Institute of Mental Health there are 26.2% of people aged 18 and over who “suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.” Seeing as one in four adults have mental disorders, the chances of knowing someone who is affected is a likely possibility. Because of these statistics, NAMI California, a group dedicated to educating the public about mental illness, lays out several of the typical feelings those helping mentally ill family members go through and ways to cope with this challenge.

There tends to be seven common emotions due to the added burden of caring for a mentally ill person. These emotions are guilt, embarrassment, confusion, anger, resentment, fear, and frustration. When I imagine the challenge of caring for someone who is mentally ill I associate with these emotions, all of which aren’t positive. If I feel this way by simply picturing these hardships then how much more stressful must it be for those who don’t imagine these situations, but are in them?

Guilt manifests because people blame themselves for what has happened and believe that somehow they could have taken control of the situation and stopped the mental illness from developing. Social stigmas about the mentally ill can cause embarrassment while confusion occurs when people have a hard time accepting that their loved one is mentally ill, what caused the disorder, and its impact on the affected individual. When family members think a patient isn’t really sick, yet merely looking for attention or excuses, they exhibit anger towards the ill individual. Resentment is where people feel pressured and burdened while caring for their family member. The people who normally feel this way are primary care givers that are closest to the mentally ill. Another normal response is fear that the family member will also be likely to get the illness. They may wonder if they are next. And lastly, the feelings of frustration occurs when caretakers feel they are unable to properly assist their loved one and therefore not helping them get better, which can also increase feelings of guilt. None of these negative feelings are helpful to any individual involved in the situation and should be change to a more positive outlook so there are no hard feelings between both parties involved.

In my opinion, it is vital that we try to get into the mindset of those in such a difficult position so we can understand what they are going through and learn how to help them. Thankfully there are ways that we can assist those who may feel burdened by caring for a friend or family member. They face an enormous challenge that includes little thanks for the help they provide, emotional heartbreak watching a loved one suffer, lots of time spent helping the mentally ill individual, and the rebellion against their help that they are likely to run into. This challenging time is when we as friends need to offer a helping hand; trying to care for someone shouldn’t be one person’s job.

Caregivers should try to reach out to others for emotional support, which can be as simple as talking about what is going on and getting feedback from others about treatment and behavioral issues. By discussing their concerns, fears, and thoughts people can create realistic expectations of recovery and maintain an objective perspective. Getting a break from care giving can reduce stress, and the use humor can help with the hardships of caring for those who can make the work difficult and depressing. Next time your friend needs to talk or asks for help, seriously think about the responsibility they are undergoing by caring for their mentally ill individual and ask yourself if you would want help and support. If the answer is yes, then do whatever you can to help to reduce that person’s burden.

As NAMI California says, “it is important to remember that mental illness is just that, an illness of the brain” and that “wrestling with the intricacies of mental health disorders is no easy feat.” It is important for those dealing with family members or friends afflicted with mental disorders to try to understand their feelings towards the ill person and how to change them to positive emotions, as well as know what resources are available during their struggle to help their mentally ill companion. Having a close circle of friends they can count on is also extremely helpful.

Remember that one day you could be in this position. Wouldn’t you want help and loving support during these troubling times?

Teen Mental Health A-Palooza!!!

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition has been BUSY. Aside from our regular duties of updating all of our social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace, we have also been busy with lots of other activities! Here's what we've been up to:

Updating Our Website

*whew!* That was hard work! For the past few weeks we have been building resource pages on the website. Do you want to know more about depression? What do you do if a friend has an eating disorder? Have you ever heard of K2? Do you know how to put on a condom correctly? What should you think about before you come out of the closet?

Did any one of those leave you scratching your head? Check out our resource page on the website to get all the facts. We're just calling it a "Teen Mental Health A-Palooza!"

Chillin' at the South Park Day and Night Festival

On Saturday, August 14, the Peer Leaders headed to Martin Luther King Jr. Park to promote the Peer Outreach Coalition. We handed out dozens of our new stickers, resource lists, and had a raffle for two tickets to Great America! The Festival was a blast too! The food was yummy and the day was full of non-stop music, dancing, and martial arts demonstrations. It was a great day!

Be sure to go to our Facebook page and check out the photos we posted!

Recording Radio Shows

What are you doing Sunday night? Well, if you are near a radio or computer, tune in to KRCB (Radio FM 91) to hear the Peer Outreach Coalition on the hit show Outbeat Youth! Peer Leaders Marcos Garcilazo, Jesús Guzman, and Vanessa Romero (along with group faciliator Shana Friedman) will be discussing their experiences with the POC and helping the LGBTQ community! The show airs at 8pm on August 22, and if radios are just too mid-nineties for you, you can stream the show online at the KRCB website.

So, feed your inquiring mind at our website resource page, check out our photos from the festival, and listen to us on the radio too! It's just another wonderful weekend with the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition. Have a happy and healthy weekend!

Back to school blues

It's that time of year again. Throughout Sonoma County (and across the nation) children, teens, and college students are heading back to the classroom. Many of the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition's Peer Leaders are going back to school this week too. Things are about to get busy!

Some of you may be heading off to college for the first time. This is an exciting transition! For the first time you may be living away from home. Independence! Freedom! Partying! Before you get too excited, remember the reason you are going away to school is *ahem* school.

Despite all these feelings of excitement, going to college can stir up some emotions you may not be prepared for. Although college is an opportunity to meet lots of new people, sometimes students find that they are socially isolated and lonely. According to this recent article, mental health problems are on the rise among college students. The students who are most likely to seek counseling or other resources on campus are the ones who feel disconnected from peers or feel like they are not "fitting in" at the school.

According to the study by Hofstra University, "moderate to severe depression increased to 41 percent in 2009, compared to 34 percent in 1997 and 1998." Also, the study reported that impulsive behaviors (such as drinking, fighting, and stealing) were on the rise. The incidence of students exhibiting self-destructive behaviors (such as cutting or other forms of self-injury) doubled during the last decade.

But there is good news! According to the same study, student reports of suicidal thoughts were down by fifteen percent! It has been suggested that this is due to college student's increased access to on campus counseling and health services.

So if you are going away to college, where can you turn for support?

• Your campus health center Check out your college health center. Most have access to counseling and mental health services.



• Your friends Reach out to your classmates and friends. A phone call to a friend from high school who is attending a different school may boost your mood.



• Your family There is nothing wrong with calling home to talk about how you are feeling! Also, if you have health insurance, your family might be able to help you locate a mental health professional under your insurance plan to help with the strong emotions you are dealing with



• Your online social network There is a wealth of information on the internet. On Facebook, the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition links to a variety of Facebook pages and websites about suicide prevention, depression, and anxiety. There are also numerous online resources dedicated to college students such as ULifeline. Right now you can also check out Psych Central which currently has a back-to-school mental health guide

Remember, it is completely normal to feel depressed and overwhelmed at times. Going to college for the first time is a life-changing experience. If you feel like your enjoyment of this exciting time in your life is being overshadowed by feelings of sadness or hopelessness, then please make an appointment with you campus health center. There is nothing wrong with seeking help for depression or anxiety symptoms. As you can tell by these articles, students are making the choice to get help more frequently.

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition frequently uses the saying "Got Mental Health?" Take care of your body, take care of your mind, and when we ask you if you've got mental health you can say proudly, "Why yes, I do!"

What does your Facebook say about you?

When you run an online social media campaign about mental health awareness, you are constantly aware of how you are perceived by the public. You must be careful about your choice of words (i.e. The Baby Seal Club) and make sure that you are providing the best information possible for your readers. The Peer Leaders are constantly sifting through articles, websites, and a plethora of information online about teen mental health, sex, drugs, and occasionally a little rock and roll. We discuss frequently if something is worth posting, if it is "Fact or Crap?" as we have joked on many occasions.

So when you are looking online at your friends' Facebook profile, can you be sure they are showing you who they really are? Well, now you can. According to a study in the March issue of Psychological Science, Facebook users' profiles accurately reflect who they really are! The study was done by a collaboration of University of Texas at Austin and the University of Mainz in Germany. Research assistants ranked profiles study participants on the “Big Five.” These are the five dimensions of personality often used in psych­ological research. They include extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness and conscientiousness.

The research assistants then compared their perceptions with personality tests of the study participants, and the feedback of four close friends of the participants. For the most part, the perceptions were very accurate. In other words, if you were to look at a profile on Facebook and think "Wow, this person sure is extroverted!" you would most likely be correct.

Why is this important? Well, think about everything we do online. We socialize, we date, and we occasionally snoop on other people! The latter is more common than you think, especially when it comes to employers checking up on prospective job applicants. What do you think a potential employer thinks when they see a job applicant's Facebook profile where all the pictures show the applicant drunk on the beach in Cabo? Hmm...maybe it's time to rethink posting those Spring Break photos.

The Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition works pretty closely with local LGBTQ organizations such as Positive Images and Outbeat Youth. Over the past few months, we have become increasingly aware of the problem of privacy when it comes to being "out" online. Once you have posted information online, people can access that information. Privacy settings can help, but concerns about safety and security often are at the forefront of the minds of those who have faced discrimination in the past.

Cyberbullying is also a concern regardless of one's sexual orientation. Teens across the country are being bullied by peers via the internet, often resulting in mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. Cyberbullying has even been linked to a probable cause of a girl's suicide in New York.

Will knowing that people are (for the most part) pretty honest on Facebook help with this problem? Will this knowledge make it easier to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing? Can we now determine what is "fact" and what is, well, "crap?"

Excuse me now while I go remove my summer vacation pictures from my Facebook...

"Equality: 1, Bigotry: 0." Guest blog post by Peer Leader Marcos Garcilazo

Yesterday was a historic day for LGBTQ rights in the state of California. Since members of the LGBTQ population are often at an increased risk of stress, anxiety, and depression due to discrimination, Marcos has graciously written this post on his thoughts about Prop 8, equality, and discrimination. Thanks Marcos!

Yesterday afternoon, I was one of the millions of people on Twitter who was furiously refreshing their feed hoping that the Fail Whale would not show up. The day before, the judge who had been presented with the case that would rule Proposition 8 (which banned gay marriage in California back in November 2008) was going to release his decision. I was overcome with the same feeling that I felt the night of November 2008 when Americans made history by electing the first African-American man to office: history would be made that day once again.

At 2PM PST, Twitter exploded (it really exploded) with the news: the Judge had ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional, meaning that people in favor of gay marriage had won this round. I have to admit that a huge grin adorned my face as I proudly updated my Facebook status with a link to the ruling and my own little comment - "Equality: 1, Bigotry: 0." I understand this is but the first step in what's surely going to be a marathon, but it's a step in what I believe to be the right direction.

As of yesterday, a very large part of the population got affirmation on a very deep level that there is hope for equality. America has a history of inequality and bigotry, sure, but we also have a history of people moving history along past such things, and yesterday Honorable Judge Vaughn Walker joined those people. His ruling, which is honestly one of the better reads of the summer (and I only read about a fifth of the whole document) very clearly asserts several things. First, his ruling upholds the notion that equality is not something we should be putting up for a vote. Equality in general is not a voter initiative idea - it is an ideal. Regardless of race, gender, economic status, sexual orientation, religion, or any other factor that may differentiate us from a larger group, when we stand in front of a judge or in front of a police officer, we expect that we will all be treated equally. This ruling asserts that Judge Walker heard no argument that was convincing enough to abolish that equality at the marriage license clerk's office.

The concept of equality is not new, but the fact that now we should be applying it to more people apparent is. If "marriage" continues to be something recognized by a government, which thereby grants certain legal benefits (e.g. hospital visits, tax breaks, etc) then marriage should be something every single American should be able to get. Throughout this whole debate opponents of gay marriage have brought up the religious interpretation of the word "marriage", and that's something that needs to be said: this debate is not about "religious marriage" - it is about the legal, government-recognized and government-benefited union between two people. In order for equality to be equality, it needs to be applied to everyone, not just to those the majority deems appropriate.

Second, this decision carried a deeper message for the greater queer community. This decision sent a loud and clear message that their relationships are just as valid and that their relationships carry the same intrinsic value as opposite-sex relationships. Through years of anti-gay messaging, it has been my experience that people do not carry the same level of respect for the word "partner" as they do for "husband" or "wife," and what this decision does is tell all those people that in fact there is no difference, that the love in a relationship is not dictated by the genders of the people in it.

Third, this decision was really heartening because it struck down discrimination, and as a "minority" discrimination is an issue. As I said, if people will discriminate against someone because of their sexual orientation, how can I know that it won't be because of their race the next day, or because they have an accent, or are of a certain religion? Discrimination is a disease as far as I'm concerned and to allow any kind of discrimination is a violation of the principle that our nation so often touts: that all men are created equal. If we are to uphold that notion, then we must do all that we can to make sure that every single person in this nation is an equal in the eyes of the law.

Again, this is not about the religious institution. This is about the legal marriage. Yesterday amongst the flurry of joy around this decision there was a lot of hate. Some people see this as an attack on tradition, and some see it as an attack on the will of the people. Appealing to tradition is one of the many techniques employed in arguments, and to that I say, just because we've been doing something in a particular manner for years doesn't mean we've been doing something right. As far as an attack on the will of the people, well, this is called a "minority rights issue" for a reason - this affects the minority, and the implication here is that simply because 52% of Californians have an issue with gay marriage we should embed discrimination into our state constitution. Minority rights would never advance if we waited for the majority to work through its concerns with any particular issue.

I hope that when this reaches the Supreme Court of the United States (and I have no doubt it will) I will see a repeat of yesterday. It is comforting to know that a community that so often has to deal with hatred finally gets a break, even if it's just a small one.

Sonoma County Mental Health Controversy: Lunatic Binge, anyone?

On Saturday I was strolling through downtown Sebastopol with a friend for high school. We were reliving our days at Analy High School and marveling at how much the town has changed since we graduated. As I was walking past the entrance of the Sebastopol Cookie Company, the following poster caught my eye....

I particularly was fascinated by the idea that bathrobes, pajamas, and straight jackets were encouraged. As much as I have always wanted an excuse to wear a straight jacket in public, I think it may be a little difficult to enjoy a diet coke with my arms strapped to my sides.

All sarcasm aside, this event caused quite a stir. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) released a statement that the event reinforced "stereotypes about people suffering serious ailments and should be cancelled." In the end, NAMI and the band Baby Seal Club were able to reach an agreement on the event. The evening of the show a one-person picket line marched out in front of Hopmonk Tavern in Sebastopol.

On the Baby Seal Club website, the band composed an open letter to NAMI. Here is an excerpt:

"To clarify, what we are presenting is akin to a cartoon using recognizable reference points elevated to illustrate the ludicrousness and absurdities of the stigmas attached to mental illnesses and their treatments. We seek to spoof the stigmas themselves, not to perpetuate them, and certainly not to insult those who suffer from a serious mental illness. We will let the attendees decide for themselves if we have succeeded."

In all honesty, I am a little confused at how an evening of straight jackets, bite-guards, and restraints (according to the band's website), along with calling the event the "Lunatic Binge," does not perpetuate the stigma of mental illness. I am happy that NAMI and the show organizers were able to make peace, but I wonder what, if any, harm was done by allowing this event to take place.

What do you think?

When the "F" on your report card means "Fat"

It seems that Massachusetts is on the front line for controversial education reforms. Remember a few weeks ago when the Provincetown school district decided to update their condom policy? Well, if nothing else, Massachusetts is giving us plenty to think about!

Now from Medway, Massachusetts, there is a new trend. Schools have started weighing students, calculating their Body Mass Index (BMI) and then sending home a "Fitness Report Card" to parents. An angry mother took information to a Fox News TV station in Boston. A Fox News correspondent offered the opinion that this new policy demonstrates a "lack of respect" for the parents and pediatricians responsible for making heath decisions for the students.

Obesity in children and teens has been big in the news lately. First Lady Michelle Obama has been promoting a campaign to end childhood obesity, and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has started his Food Revolution campaign to change the way we eat in the United States. Obviously obesity in teens has huge implications for their physical health.

But what about mental health? Studies show that obese teens are more likely to be bullied than peers of a normal weight. In addition, bullying can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. These mental health problems can last well into one's adult years. Even if an overweight teenager loses weight, the insecurities do not necessarily go away.

Chances are, overweight teens already know they are larger than their peers. Is a Fitness/Fatness report card necessary? Will it do more harm than good? Or, conversely, is this the catalyst needed to propel parents to help their children lead healthier lives?

Ask us ANYTHING!

Anything? Really? Do you mean that?

We just made added a new feature to our website called "So Shana..." Click on the link on the page to send an e-mail to the Mental Health Program Specialist for the Sonoma County Peer Outreach Coalition.

You e-mail will be kept completely confidential. We will post the answer on the "Ask us Anything" page of the website. What do you want to ask us?
Ask us anything! Ask us about depression, stress, dating, situations with friends, things that bum you out or make you angry, sex, concerns....ANYTHING!
What are you waiting for? Come check us out and get answers to your questions!

Depression = Chocolate?

“Depressed mood was significantly related to higher chocolate consumption,” Dr. Natalie Rose of the University of California, Davis, and University of California, San Diego. Wait, they needed to do a study on this?
According to a study at University of California, Davis and University of California, San Diego, people who are depressed eat chocolate more. Click on the picture of chocolate to read the whole story!
Mmm….I’m feeling pretty happy right now, but I could sure use some chocolate! 10am isn’t too early, right?